#10

YAY!!!! so now that my two followers know I can finally write about it. I'm PREGNANT!!!

It's still very surreal, I'm still waiting for the rug to be pulled form under my feet, I'm just still not 100% sure. LOL I don't get to see proof until later this month, proof meaning an ultrasound or hearing the heartbeat...so I'm still on edge. I can say that I've never been more anxious in my whole life, I've had more morbid thoughts in the past few weeks than the past several years put together. I fear that my body is just playing a huge trick on me, that there is nothing there and that it's all a dream. Something we wanted for so long, but really didn't think would happen, actually happened. How could I not be skeptical. I mean, even before i married justin i spoke to him about the fact that I may not be able to have babies and here I am, PREGNANT. Oddness.

I have some more worries that come to mind. Mostly about my health. PCOS comes along with some really fun symptoms, one that i'm worried most about is Gestational Diabetes. I took my one hour sugar test and it is slightly high, not to the point where I most likely have diabetes, but to the point where I'll probably have to do the three hours sugar test, which appears to be NO FUN. It's all for a good cause though. I know I need to change my diet, more of a high protein low carb thing, which will be super hard because carbs are my best friend. But again, all for a good cause. I think the hardest part will be encouraging Justin to change the way he cooks...which I'm sure he'll do after the Doctor tells him he needs to. (yeah, i really don't do much cooking in this house, not because I don't want to, but because Justin loves to.) So yeah, this will be interesting.

Another thing I worry about is my job. My job is stressful and action packed. I worry that I won't be able to perform to the level that I would like to and I'm also worried that I won't be able to hang very long. I really don't want to change jobs, so I'm hoping my supervisors will be sympathetic and help me out a bit. I love working with my clients, but I haven't been very motivated to go above and beyond lately, which is unlike me at my job. No one has really noticed yet, but I have. I'm very tired around 3pm everyday and I really don't get much done after that. Since I have been waking up at the crack of dawn everyday I'm hoping to get a lot done in the mornings and to see most of my clients at their schools so I can be done early on most days. I guess that is the great thing about my job, it's extremely flexible, which is going to be helpful.

Anyway, I know it's normal to be worried and to google things during my 3am bathroom break every night, so as much worry as I have...I'm actually not that Stressed...I mean I don't feel overwhelmed with these thoughts...they are just thoughts. I look them up if I need to and I make mental notes and I move on. Luckily so far I haven't had any 'morning' sickness. I dunno if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I just try to make sure I don't get really hungry and I eat small snacks throughout the day. I've been drinking a ton of water and it's been helping the crazy cramps I was having in the begining. I still have them, but it's not as bad.

All in all, this is going to be neat. No matter what happens, it's good to know that it's possible.

I am currently 7 weeks and 3 days, which in 'forum talk' is 7w3d. :) Woo. I truly am excited for what is to come. My life is pretty amazing. :)