#18

Holly Crap, it's starting to settle in...only three months left before we have a baby....so freakin' weird. I feel her kick A LOT now and the kicks are getting stronger and stronger. I'm still feeling them low and if higher they are on the sides. Sometimes it feels like she's playing jump rope with the umbilical cord on my bladder. It's good times. I haven't peed my pants yet, and I owe that to my kegel exercises! lol.

I've been thinking a lot about the birthing process. I've been watching a lot of movies and videos of natural births, medication assisted births and c-section births. Ideally, to me, it makes sense to have a natural birth. No meds, no epidural, no c-section...but I also know that all of those are options. And, since I plan on giving birth in a hospital (since I'm not a baller and I can't afford a home birth...and that also seems pretty scary) I wonder if the hospital staff will continually offer me medications or even push to have a c-section to make things easier on them. We plan on having the baby at Long Beach Memorial, and it has been ranked one of the best hospitals to give birth in....but I haven't found out why yet. Is it because of their medical interventions, or is it because they allow simple natural births to occur? I don't know, and I plan on asking all of the fun questions when we go for the Hospital Tour early next month. The fun questions are, 1) What is their c-section rate, planned and unplanned? 2) What is their episiotomy rate? 3) Are their nurses comfortable with a natural birth? 4) etc, etc, etc?

Now, I'm not going to be totally rigid in my birth plan, I just want to know the possibilities so that I can prepare myself. Part of preparing myself is also preparing Justin. He HATES hospitals and I worry that he's going to pass out or just die right there from an anxiety attack. Actually, I'm pretty sure he's going to be fine and probably much more supportive and able than even he thinks he can be in this situation. I know he's going to have a hard time seeing me in pain, so I've been trying to desensitize him lately watching birth shows like "one born every min." It's an interesting show and I hope he'll continue to watch it with me. Pretty much the only thing he can't handle is watching them do the epidural...which is okay with me, because I really don't want one and if I do end up getting one he won't have to sit there and watch it.

Anyway, I've also been reading about doula's and again, if money wasn't an issue, I would probably be interviewing doula's right now. What I like about doula's is that they can be there for the ENTIRE labor and birth and help you figure out what is best for your unique body and help advocate to the nurses and doctors. I have read that you can get a no cost/low cost doula by looking into getting a Doula in Training. I haven't decided if I want to start calling around yet to explore options in my area. I'm just not sure if it's THAT important to me, but it might be....so, we shall see.

In other news, work has been interesting lately. I only have four clients right now because I graduated and transferred over half of my case load after the holidays. I really only see two of my clients because the other two are refusing services and their cases will close soon. I'm not getting more clients, because it is just unethical to begin with a client for three months (just enough time to build rapport) then take off for three months. So, I've been in paperwork land lately. I've taken on a lot of paperwork to help my co-workers who are swamped. I spend a lot more time in the office, which is good and bad. It's good because I don't have to drive a lot, but will end up being bad when I do my expense report...lol, I used to get about $200+ at the end of every month for my driving expenses, last month it was just over $100 and this month it will be much less I'm sure. Now, i guess it will all even out because I'm really not getting gas as much and not spending as much with my clients. SO yeah, paperwork is great! lol...I keep telling myself that. :)

Okay, the baby is kicking hard and letting me know it's time to eat...she's like a little alarm clock for food time. ;) Yay!